it feels like the words are oozing out, i remember trying to control them, every third wave that comes crashing on my back after my lips rejoin and regret tries to sneak in through the back door. i'm not interested, what else is there left to do but to move on. i have surrendered to the current – post-puberty's lesson: go with the flow... and after that i learned who i am. so call it what u will: barbed wire, the third wave, life is as relentless as nature itself and our microcosms are all we have, why else would we constantly want to be a part of something bigger? the universal complex, but as much as i love being a part of it all i feel estranged and removed from the worries... indifferent, because it always hovers above me... the third wave... so here i am: i'm ready! take me! this is me with open arms, screaming into the storm, streaks of water whipping my face. my lungs, my heart, my brain, my body... i cast myself into the perpetual chaos, on my neverending search for order. the pain is real... and it's fine. not like we have a choice...